The Bold World is the transformative story of one woman's journey to overcome the beliefs and cultural norms that shaped her past so she could accept and love her transgender son. Jodie Patterson's powerful memoir tells not only her story but also the story of the Southern women who raised her, alongside the story of her children, especially Penelope, who ignited change and acceptance in her life.
Image courtesy of Penguin Random House
The book starts with the story of Patterson's childhood and the life that shaped her into the woman she became. We learn of the culture she grew up in, the belief systems she was raised with, and how they contributed to her identity. Next, we are introduced to the women who influenced her when she was older and in college, the role these women played in her life, and how she thought of herself.
It then goes on to Patterson's marriage to Joe and their children together: first Georgia and then Cassius. As they navigate being parents, Jodie and Joe fall into traditional gender roles, imitating the patterns they learned from their parents (p.125).
"The story life kept telling me was this: The world is divided between two genders. My son and daughter were different, Joe and I were different-my own parents were night and day. All men and women were meant to operate in silos, drawing from strengths unique to their sex" (p.132).
Then comes Penelope. From the time she is one, before being able to speak, Penelope shows a strong interest in everything that relates to Cassius and nothing that is supposed to be for her (she/her pronouns will be used until Penelope says she is a boy). She prefers her brother's clothes and toothbrush and pushes away everything pink or purple or looks like it should be for a girl (p.159). At three, she asked for short hair. "The agitation with her body, as if she's ready to jump out of her skin. Clearly her hair, like so many other things, has been getting in the way of her joy" (p.166).
Later that year, Penelope tells Jodie the reason she's angry all the time is because she's a boy (p.170), and Jodie doesn't know how to respond.
"But this? 'I don't feel like a boy, I am a boy'-this was a sentence I wasn't prepared for. It rolled around in my brain, pinging against the folders of my experiences looking for a match, an appropriate response, and came back with nothing. Blank, opaque, nothing. And in that moment I believed I failed my child for not knowing. Failed because I didn't see it coming, and could not offer up a plan" (p.171).
Patterson was immediately on board, working to learn everything she could about what it means to be transgender/. We learn how the family began to shift to using new pronouns for Penelope (who kept his name), using one set at home and another at school, and how they avoided using pronouns when talking about Penelope to extended family (p.184).
The book goes on to illustrate the difficulties the Patterson family had getting their extended family to adjust to Penelope and how they used a YouTube video of Jazz Jennings to introduce the idea of Penelope being transgender to their children, and then Penelope identified with being transgender because of it. (p.194). In watching that video, Patterson began to understand that she needed to be more accepting of Penelope.
"Once you can clearly see the urgency in front of you, you let go of that which is less important. You let it go because it no longer needs to be held so tightly- because it no longer serves you" (p.196).
The book finishes with more stories of Patterson's extended family, including how Jodie and Joe become advocates for Penelope. Penelope continues to have difficulty fitting in his skin because his body doesn't match how he sees himself (p.240).
At 328 pages and twenty-three chapters, The Bold World is a compelling book that will challenge you to put aside your preconceived notions about race, gender expectations, and parenting. It's a book that will stay with you long after you've read it.
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